Urmilla Khana, left, and workshop leader Joanne Glenn talk about writing. Credit: Photo courtesy of Betty Baumgartner

Here, retired pediatrician and former caregiver Urmilla Khana shares what writing means to her. Urmilla took to writing after being the primary caregiver to her husband Kris, who had Parkinson’s Disease for fourteen years and died from a massive heart attack in 2003, when they were taking a cruise. At first, her writing was mostly about her life growing up in India. Later, her thoughts fixated upon her life with Kris …and her writing took another direction.

I had led such a busy life, even after I was retired, taking care of Kris, doing all the things we wanted and loved to do. When he passed away, there was such a void. I was looking for something to fill up my life—knitting, watercolor, movie clubs. One day, when I was visiting my cousin in England, playing around on the computer and practicing how to type, I started writing. It felt good, and somehow I got stuck on the word “word painting.” Word painting was better than painting—which would have taken too much room, too much space, too much equipment.

At the time I did not think of writing as a coping strategy. When Kris was sick, there was no time for writing, that’s not your priority. I feel that as a caretaker you’ve just got to enjoy every moment with that person. But I did record events and get things down—maybe that was the extent of my writing for coping. You may not have time to write, but putting memories down is another matter.

I started writing about PD later. It helped me settle my thoughts. When I’m sitting gathering all the details and thinking of the words to write, and what aspects of the story to write, it hits me again and again that I wouldn’t do anything differently. That gives me a lot of comfort. Sometimes I feel that maybe if I can write or express my story properly, maybe it would help other people. For example, it’s only in hindsight that I’m developing an awakening about my husband’s initial mental symptoms being a forerunner of Parkinson’s.

I am being more comforted by writing now than by not writing at all. If I didn’t write our story, how would I get it out of my system? Now, by writing, I can reminisce in a pleasant way. And it helps me understand my own life, and our life together.

If you are interested in giving yourself the gift of sanity—the chance to make sense of your life, to write, alone and with others—consider attending the “Writing Workshop for Caregivers” on February 20, 2010, from 10 A.M. – 2 P.M. We’ll meet in the welcoming environs of the Fireplace Room in Hollin Hall, a lovely historic home on the grounds of Mt. Vernon Unitarian Church in Alexandria, VA. Or share this information with another caregiver, someone who may need or want a chance to write her story. For details, please email Joanne Glenn or call 703.721.2088.

Cosmos Yoga and Healing

Cosmos Yoga and Healing is especially designed for his students to walk into a calming environment. The color, music, and smell of the room will leave a person relaxed by the end of the session. Gus teaches the Iyengar school of yoga which stresses body alignment and aims to unite the body, mind and spirit for health and well-being.

How can yoga be a cure for insomnia? Gus tells me that it’s through correct breathing, stretches, and alignment of the body. Additionally, about 10 to 15 minutes is spent in meditation where one “centers” oneself as well as removes toxins from the mind. He says we have too many things in our mind and the correct environment will bring a different mood. Stresses such as driving in traffic, a bad day at work, kids to care for — yoga removes the stresses, balances the body, and helps you to see clearly. With your body balanced and your mind cleared — it will help you fall asleep.

Gus

Gus’s definition of yoga … “Forever Young.” He says that the most positive energy we can get is from the sun’s rays so he encourages his students to get fresh air. If you live or work in the Alexandria, Virginia area, plan to check out this studio and try a class. Click here for a schedule.

Do you remember the very first time you moved as an adult? I was just out of college and moved to Washington DC taking everything with me on the train. That was many years and many purchases ago. My last two moves involved hiring professional movers (who moved 55 boxes of just books in one of those moves).

Recently I spent a couple of weeks in Wisconsin helping my dad move into assisted living. Neither he nor my mother had accumulated a lot of stuff. When I was growing up, our home was never cluttered, and as Dad got older, he still kept the house clutter-free. Even so, there was a lot of stuff to go through (there were many, many closets).

When I returned home, I resolved to revert to my every-five-years habit of pretending I was moving and getting rid of things. Things I haven’t used in years, that I wouldn’t want to have to pack, and to pay to have moved, and to make room for if I were moving to a smaller space.

I have a few clients who live simply in 600 sq foot spaces. I envy them. Wouldn’t life be a lot simpler without all this stuff? The more we have, the more we have to take care of, the more we have to dust (or move out of the way so the cleaning people can clean), the more we have to push aside to get to stuff we need.

January is Get Organized month. This is a great time of year to get rid of things you no longer use or love. Gather those unused items and donate them now! If you itemize deductions on your tax return, make sure you get a receipt.

Go through your winter clothes. Someone out there could really use that winter coat, or nice warm sweater or business suit you no longer wear.

I’ve already started working on my downsizing. (I downsized those 55 boxes of books many years ago.) I took a dozen items to a consignment shop last month. I’ve got three bags of clothing ready to donate, two boxes of papers ready to go to the shredder, and four boxes to go to recycling. I feel great!

There’s a side benefit of downsizing – you make room for new things to come into your life that are important to you now, rather than giving space to things that were important to you 20 years ago. Just don’t go overboard and bring in more than you got rid of! If you have things to donate and don’t know where you can take them, call or e-mail me at 703-742-9179 or Susan@BalancedSpaces.com and I’ll give you some ideas.

Downsize your schedule too. Don’t overbook your social calendar. Leave some time for yourself – to just relax.

© 2009-10 Susan Kousek

This article was written by senior Susan Kousek, Certified Professional Organizer (CPO), who works with clients in their office and home to declutter their space and set up systems to stay organized. She also offers workshops on organizing and time management. You can sign up for her mailing list to receive organizing tips like this by e-mailing her at Susan@BalancedSpaces.com.

Susan Kousek, CPO®
Balanced Spaces®, LLC
Reston, VA
Susan@BalancedSpaces.com
www.BalancedSpaces.com
703-742-9179

Sonia Gow leading a group of seniors

This is the time of year when you’ll see and hear a lot in the media about exercise. There are lots of reasons why it’s good for you:

• lose weight
• improved strength and flexibility
• stronger bones
• better sleep
• help prevent diseases
• more energy
• alleviate pain

These are all valid reasons, but what if you don’t like the word exercise? What if it sounds like a really dreary, boring thing to do even when you know it’s good for you? When you’d much rather curl up with a book or be like my friend who says when she hears the word exercise she washes her mouth out with chocolate?

How about instead of using the word exercise we use the word movement? There are lots of ways to move our bodies:

• dancing
• gardening
• walking
• bowling
• playing in a pool (walking, classes)
• playing with grandchildren
• mowing the lawn,
• shoveling snow
• and even cleaning the house!

I have a friend who puts on happy music and dances around the house. Another one bounces on a stability ball while she watches her favorite TV show. Whatever you do, it will work best if you enjoy what you’re doing, and you do it every day.

“If you rest, you rust.” Actress Helen Hayes.

I love this quote – for me it says it all. Maintain and increase your independence and control over your life. Forget about exercise and get moving!

This post was written by Sonia Gow.  She is a certified fitness instructor with special certifications in older adult fitness and aquatic exercise. Her focus is on balance and fall prevention through her Flamingos in Training program. The exercises she uses are also suitable for those with chronic illnesses like Parkinson’s, MS and arthritis, as well as post-rehab. Many are the same as those recommended by physical and occupational therapists. Sonia is a member of the International Council on Active Aging and volunteers with the Parkinson Foundation of the National Capital Area. She was previously featured in another blog post. Click here.

She calls her exercise program, Flamingos in Training, because flamingos have good balance and so can you! She works primarily with older adults, and offers classes specifically for people with Parkinson’s disease and their caregivers, both land and aquatic, in the home and in retirement communities. For more information on her program, click here.

Dianne Eppler Adams

As we launch not only a new year but a new decade in 2010, it is clear many things are changing in our world. Fear of loss and deprivation as a result of the economic crisis, healthcare issues, government and corporate corruption, climate change, global epidemics and more could prevent us from living a happy life. But fear is not the best response to these threats.

I suggest that one powerful survival response is to recognize what is enough. It is an antidote to fear and the answer to finding satisfaction in living. Most of us are warmly clothed, living in comfortable homes surrounded by people we care about. The vast majority of Americans have far more than enough of what they need. Witness our trash piles.

What is enough must be answered by each person individually. A really good definition is “as little as possible and as much as necessary.”

Those who have lived long enough to remember the Great Depression of the 1930s will have no trouble understanding that definition. My mother-in-law still saves aluminum foil and washes out plastic bags for reuse.

Somehow, we lost sight of proportion and the last couple decades have been lived like unlimited growth and expansion could go on forever. Irrational exuberance took over and money and what it could buy became the measure of happiness…or did it?

Yet, just as you cannot breathe out without eventually breathing in, we have arrived at the need to restore the value of non-monetized things like a walk in the Sun, a hug from a loved one, or kind words from a neighbor.

As you begin a new decade, why not begin by first acknowledging what you already have. Before worrying about the future, if you start from appreciating what you have, you might realize that…you already have enough.

May you always have enough of what is really valuable in your life!

Senior guest blogger, Dianne Eppler Adams, is a certified astrologer and has offered life-affirming insights since 1995. Visit her Web site, http://SpiritinMatters.com, to sign up for her monthly newsletter.

Are you living your life’s purpose? I had a hand analysis done this year and found that I am a gifted healer. It validated my wanting to learn and practice Cellular Response, an energy healing modality founded in California by Dan Yamaguchi of Silicon Valley Health and Wellbeing. It gives me immense pleasure to help people with their pain (and as seniors, don’t our bodies pop up with pain here and there all the time?) I am very excited about continuing my education in this area.

I hope you enjoyed Joanne Lozar Glenn’s series on writing. I am inviting more senior guest bloggers to join me on this blog to share their expertise with you. I’ve met many of them through the Women’s Network of Springfield, a women’s networking group that I co-founded. If you have a Facebook account, you can visit us here.

Take good care of yourself. Remember, the gift of health is the best gift you can give yourself and your loved ones. Happy New Year!

Joanne Lozar Glenn teaching a writing class

Taking a writing class is one way to develop your writing skills and move forward on your writing project. But how do you know if the class is worth your time? Today, in the sixth and last post of this series, guest blogger Joanne Lozar Glenn addresses that question: “How to Evaluate a Writing Class.”

Writing classes are a great way to give yourself deadlines for your writing project and become a more skillful storyteller.

But if you’ve never taken a writing class before, how do you know if it’s a good one?

First, check out the instructor’s personality, background, and focus. If you talk to the program director, consider asking what kind of feedback the instructor tends to get.

Once you’re enrolled, use these questions to decide if the class is a good educational experience:

• Does the class inspire you to write?
• Is the instructor encouraging? Does s/he show respect for all participants’ work?
• Has s/he emphasized confidentiality with respect to the writing everyone shares?
• Is class content customized to participants’ needs?
• Are you encouraged to discover and stay true to your own voice, even while learning techniques for honing and clarifying that voice?
• Does the instructor provide examples of how to apply a particular writing technique?
• Can the instructor explain a concept in more than one way? Do the explanations and examples make sense?
• Does s/he find and comment on your strengths as a writer?
• Does s/he have you improve one or two things at a time, rather than redlining everything in your story?
• Can you feel your writing changing?
• Do you feel safe enough to explore challenging subjects?
• Has the instructor set ground rules for responding to others’ work, and modeled appropriate and inappropriate responses?
• Has s/he clarified the differences between responses that are appropriate for first drafts versus those for revised drafts?
• Does the instructor admit that her response is only one opinion… and encourage you to trust what resonates?
• Are you learning from the other class participants as well as from the instructor?

If you can answer “yes” to most of the questions, then you’ve got a winner.

Where can find writing classes? Here are a few opportunities in metropolitan Washington, DC:
• Fairfax County Adult and Community Education
• Vienna Community Center (see p. 28)
• The Writers Center

Happy New Year, happy writing!

To hold your audience’s attention, keep your writing focused, writes guest blogger Joanne Lozar Glenn in today’s post.

Focus: One Key to Writing Text that Readers Want to Read

Think of the last fuzzy photograph you took. Did you keep it? Or did you throw it away? I’m betting you threw it away, probably because the fuzziness made it hard to know what the photo was really about.

There’s a metaphor here. Readers don’t get into fuzzy writing either.

Bonnie Hearn’s written a classic on this topic: Focus Your Writing. Her key message: Decide if you want your piece to entertain, explain, instruct, or inform. Then you can shape the parts to meet the overall goal.

Though Hearn was talking about journalism, her advice also makes sense for life stories. How do you apply it?

Here’s a technique some successful writers use:  they write a sentence about what they want the story to do—for example, to let people experience how it felt to be nineteen in a foreign country, by myself, not knowing the language, with $20 in my pocket—then they tape this sentence to their computer screen (or to the draft when they’re ready to revise). Everything that goes in the piece must further their purpose. If it doesn’t, then they delete it (or save it for another story).

It may seem harsh (as William Faulkner put it, you “kill your darlings,”) but I’ve seen his advice make a huge difference in creating work that others want to read. How about you? What works when you’re trying to stay on topic? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

So you’ve got this idea for a book . . .
… and you’re wondering if it’s “publishable.”*

This is a real question lots of would-be authors have—in fact, it came from a friend just today. Here’s what I told her.

First, understand that you’re really asking “What’s marketable?” and not “What’s publishable?” Big difference.

Lots of things are “publishable,” especially through “print on demand” publishers. You write your book, you pay for printing, you get your copy.

But to be marketable, your idea must be so compelling that people will buy your book.

How do you know if your book will sell? Basic market research:

1. Find out how many and what kind of books on your topic have been published—check publishers’ catalogs, Amazon.com (www.amazon.com), and Books in Print (at your local library).

2. Next, check Amazon rankings to see if these books are selling well. Yes? That’s good…it means people are interested in your topic.

3. Figure out how your book is different from what’s out there. What does it offer that’s missing in the market?

At this point it would be good to consult Michael Larsen’s How to Write a Book Proposal and Susan Page’s The Shortest Distance Between You and a Published Book to decide next steps.

Even if your book isn’t marketable, it may still be of great interest to friends, families, even local libraries or historical societies. So don’t get discouraged. Write the book you want to write. After all, only you can make your dream come true.

*I know that when you ask “Is this publishable?” you’re really asking “Am I a good writer?”—but that’s another topic for another time.

Use a writer’s notebook and you’ll never run out of things to write about, notes guest blogger Joanne Lozar Glenn in today’s post.

So you’ve decided to write your life story, and now you’re sitting in front of a blank page or computer screen. How do you get started? Lots of writers keep notebooks. No, not a diary or journal, but a place to record what they notice and react to. These observations are the seeds of writing ideas that they harvest later.

Writers’ notebooks can be small, spiral-bound “idea catchers.” They can be manila folders, for holding all the scraps of paper that have ideas jotted on them. They can even be index cards or post-it notes, kept in a zipped pouch for easy retrieval and sorting. The important thing: to write down ideas as they come to you, so you can pick one to play with later.

What kinds of ideas should you keep in your writer’s notebook? Ralph Fletcher, author of  A Writer’s Notebook: Unlocking the Writer Within You, suggests jotting down

•    mind pictures

•    snatches of conversation

•    unforgettable stories or images

•    memories, photographs, and doodles

•    lists of people to contact and interview

•    facts that are important to the story you want to tell

•    things you wonder about

•    prompts to get you started, like “I remember…” or “The truth is….” or “There is the moment when everything changes” or “I was seven then, and …”

•    even steps to remind you of your writing goal(s).

With a writer’s notebook, Fletcher says, you’ve got “a powerful tool for writing and one of the best ways I know of to live a writing kind of life.”